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food: camilla tea, bless you camilla tea. your blanket of ease is always a safe haven in times of need. muffins, blueberries. animal: golden retriever. the unspoken love between human and animal. it reminds me, i should read victor hugo's l'homme qui rit again. images: gold glitter reflecting sunlight, red curls, butterfly kisses, the melting kingdom of an ice queen, an apple tree flourishing song:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVpl-RNzdE4 and so i am savouring the honey juice of a peaceful moment of silence who knows when it might turn bitter again? life is that, its bittersweet tones, sometimes more sweet, other times more the other but life will become sweet again im certain of it im adding my own sugar to it, im stirring up the strawberry potion and there i give myself an elixer composed of those elements that nature gave to me as pure Good the world is awaiting you, my dear enchanted as you are, wander over the soft grass, hear the earth breathing?
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food: smoked fish, round bread, orange juice, hummus music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZP54bClDRw&t=0s&list=PL-TuoDfYiByXZsCWCj2uWjvCOcTxpPmOo&index=181 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPTcKSVAEvA&list=PL-TuoDfYiByXZsCWCj2uWjvCOcTxpPmOo&index=141 animal: panda  book: finished 'la casa de bernarda alba'. amazing theater piece, loved it to bits next up: la cantatrice chauve by ionesco what if we're just trying to make a point to our past and future selves? like ego driven maniacs, subconsciously justifying ourselves to ourselves to our past selfs and future selfs to our past parents and present friends and in the end we live to justify but only justify to live through catharisis but don't know what the real reason to live truly is and if i know this what will i do next? facts are simply facts unless i know what to do with whats given even if, that means giving up on the usual and diving in a life thats new still, new isn
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food: pancakes, butter, syrup, coffee animal: rilakkuma mood: soft camilla tea cuddles, listening to music, while studying song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMYRZ9deYMA soft, sweet, silence dripples of water ressonating assuring me that time is passes that time is fortunately passing i fold myself up and become a plushy ball after all there's no harm and hurt in here just the muffled sound of my own breathing telling me i exist only i only me  
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song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inxXJUue9I white brim hat i got soul i can sing but i sure know rock and roll food: dumplings, the inside were still a bit cold unfortunately, camilla tea maybe going to write another book, but first i have to start working on my thesis. sartre, cioran. take your weakness, flip them upside down and turn them into your strength.  animal: puppy city: i want to visit marseille. renewed hope to continue ready to blow away the past the past didn't last won't last won't ever last time never lasts it passes and passes and at last what was now is suddenly the past so why hurt the ones you love? isn't them keeping up with your change already more than enough?
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song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53rCO8BsKwU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSQbUbQ2w-Efood: hummus and warm buns with coffee, honey camilla tea, chocolate cookies animal: squirrel book: nietzsche- the twilight of the idols how can someone be so inspiring? it's a book that breathes, it has a soul, it has a life. how do i know? i can hear its heartbeat. a letter i received from a loving friend: Dear S, The things we talked about - spiritual journeys and travels, cafés and restaurants - I want those things. I just forgot that I wanted them. I was avoiding you, because I was fatigued because I was being weak. But sitting alone in a comfy chair isn't the solution to that. I like you. You're witty, affectionate and clever. I'm a fool for not indulging in you and the world. Hope I didn't let enough time pass for you to not want me anymore. Enough time has passed for me to know I want to be with you, and that I want more than what was. Sincerely yours if yo
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song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll0XbB3GxuA food: spicy dumplings, noodle soup, fried asian snacks images: new beginning, happy young brother, sunshine, popcorn, funny videos, messy buns, laughter, the golden tan of my best friend, her shiny black hair reflecting in the sunlight book: the birth of a tragedy by friedrich nietzsche how far away sorrow feels when im bursting with laughter a bubble around me filling up more and more as i widen my smiles what is the world? a small paper boat that twelve year old me is waving goodbye my family is looking at the sea there goes the world off to an adventure or to become a disastrous shipwreck but why care? why should i be bothered? off we go too and we enjoy our Sunday brunch
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song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtgCvj6D8Eo animal: chihuahua feelings: embarrassed, ruining whatever connections i have to the world. another burn-out, things went well for so long. why did i have to break? i'm sorry. i've made a mistake. i will keep making mistakes. i will keep losing my patience. you just want your comfort, your peace. i also want that. not as long as i have my ego. it's so fragile. and i'm so scared. i'm a bubble, ready to burst at any moment. stay strong. don't break. build yourself, or you wont survive the world. food: not in the mood.  resonating: i'm an idiot. i made a mistake. i'm sorry. you've got the best of me piece by piece bit by bit i can crumble apart like a sandcastle under a harsh wave i know you're not always good for me neither am i for you but,  be a gentle wave and i'll try to be a strong rock and together we will drift softly on the bubbling foams of the sea